farm trippin' + pocho = random jokes about swimming pools

I am exhausted out of my mind – zombified. Got back from a #FARMTRIP today and it was truly epic. It is on weekend like these that I am reminded why I adore my friends and their ability to shrug off things without needing to understand every last detail. They might not accept everything but they are some of the best friends a person could have.

Essentially we spent most of the weekend in a mellow frame of mind. I am actually surprised at just how mellow I have become in my old age and my lack of need to be doing something constantly. We spent so much time chilling around in weird places and not such weird places. We managed to laugh off some of the bad things and the way things tended to constantly fall into the pool. We need to have a function to sew our pockets closed so that things can’t jump out of them and into the pool.

Things falling in the pool became quite an epic metaphor for losing things. Lotsa stuff fell into the pool and some things we threw into the pool at a great force. It takes all sorts of make a world and we fill up that CRAYCRAY/perfectly sane percentage of the world.

On the first night we tried to find “the bridge” so we could have sundowners but the bridge had managed to get itself thrown in the pool by recent storms but I got some cute pictures which will be uploaded to facebook soon. I also used the disposable camera and managed to only have twelve shots left. His project is finally taking off and soon I shall be able to start a photo wall. There are some strange and bizarre shots from roadtrippin’ to people admiring to pond of toxic waste.

Because I am too lazy tell the whole story of the weekend here is a rough list in no particular order of what we (mostly me) got up to:

I fell asleep outside while I was stargazing (I was not alone when I fell asleep. Thank you, friend, for leaving me as an offering for geese
the animals of the night) and falling asleep outside is great until you wake up at 5.44 and you are cold.

Lena and I won 30 seconds and managed to get all five right on one card. I would like to personally thank Alanis Morrisette for being Canadian. This, for some odd reason, made this five in a row victory possible. Thank you, Alanis, your nationality has been great to us.

I never used the bedding I brought but the poncho I packed was one of my best decisions ever. I only saw my pillow on three occasions and two of them were when I was packing it into and out of the car. I also never slept in the same bed more than once and weirdly enough I was in a very cuddly mood except when sleeping me kept pushing the blanket off the people I was sleeping with. I wasn’t even stealing it from her – just pushing it off of her. My subconscious is a douche canoe.

You can spend fifteen minutes listening to really bad music on a roadtrip because everybody thinks that somebody must be enjoying it and nobody wants to be rude. Never just accept the music you are being forced to listen to. Be rude and change it. Please.

We had many discussions but for some weird reason all the discussions I have been privy to lately have ended up being the epic battle of MAC VS. PC. Everybody has different things to say but after having the same conversation a million times over all I have is the word “encrypted” stuck in my head.

We named a duck. He is the most epic duck ever. A true hermit.

We yelled at many farm animals (when we weren’t naming them) Goats are what you yell at in the morning after you have managed to kill the electricity with a bath and had too much red wine. Also, sleeping next to somebody syncs your brain with theirs and you manage to yell, “shut up, you stupid, *much swearing here* goats!” at the exact same second. People become awesome when they spend more time with me.

Oh, yes, we killed all the power in the house with a bath. We haz skillz.

I experienced my first indoor downpour and lost my towel in the process. I believe I would have enjoyed the situation more if I had been in my poncho and I had not been trying to light candles so that we could see shit in the now very dark house. I am very good at making instant candle holders as well. Skillz, y’all, skillz.

We chased a gecko around a deck (and possibly scared the poor thing to death) in order to photograph his weird tail. The one photo I managed to take where you can see what the hell is really going on the tail is cropped out. I’m smart like that.

“WE LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT” is not something you want to wake up to.

Somebody ashed into my Snapple bottle lid and after I expressed my disgust at this a second person did it. Then it fell in the pool. This is sort of a metaphorical chain of events that describe the whole weekend. As soon as more things come to mind I will update this but until then I leave you with a photo of me dancing on a table.