on unplugging.

I've recently been feeling the need to unplug from all things internet. It's not that I'm an active poster or absolutely addicted but i'm starting to feel like i need to escape into my own, pure thoughts for a while.

I just downed a glass of mediocre wine.Thoughts are feeling looser now.

I've been teetering on the edge of wanting to give up networking for a bit - three days, a week, two weeks, a month and just work flat out. Photograph instead of share. But maybe sharing is part of how my creativity functions - can i really train myself to be creative in a way i'm not used to being creative? I wonder about how not being connected will affect me.I just need some space.

You know when things just point you in a certain direction? The other day I downloaded a TED talk by Sherry Turkle called "Connected, but alone?" where she discusses the whole us using social networking as a method of escaping ever having to be truly alone - having nobody to listen to our every thought (or at least the ones we want to put out there on the interwebs). I didn't get the watch the whole thing as it turns out I have this thing called a class that eats away at all my TED viewing time. The very important thing to notice is that talk spoke to me in a way that I'd never heard that perspective before - possibly because I've never really listened all that hard.

So, that was point one and then, later, while I was having my contemplative stroll I, blasting the 'new' Florence album, when All This And Heaven started playing and we just *connected* and suddenly in that space I was in the lyrics and I found some common ground and now I find myself waiting for that third sign.

Things come in threes and then I'll quit the habit for a while.

Give myself a break.

rekindling old romances.

i've been trying to live with the principle "always carry your camera with you". it's become a challenge. mostly, i think, it is because my camera hates me or at least my nikon hates me.

it maybe be that we're just trying to readjust and get back into the swing of things but i feel it is rebelling. i make threats like, "maybe i'll buy a canon next, huh?" and threaten to smash it against the wall. please, nobody report me for camera abuse? i'm just trying to help it understand me and it is like talking to a blank wall. frustration kicks in and i snap back at it.

cold hearted little snippets of insensitivity and abuse. i sneer and hiss and it just sits there.

i'm not sure how possible it is that all it is doing is waiting for me to love i it again. my love comes easily enough i like to think.

.....

i've been ill - the horrible sort of cold that crawls into your lungs and your sinuses and sits there. The kind that draws the life right out of you. sometimes i wonder if my body is breathing properly. does it remember how to?

.....

needless to say, i haven't been carrying my camera around with me which is awful. i know. i see the photographs i don't take - every single one flashes by me in strings of hundreds of images. and i let them.

we'll grow used to each other again. eventually.

and now you know.

I really abuse this space. It's only function really is to be that odd space on the internet i post things to inconsistently when i feel like the things in my brain just shouldn't be in my brain anymore.

For example:

This merry evening I was just chilling on my bed. Chilling is a word I use these days instead of things like "procrastinating" and "wasting so much damn time". Anyway, I was chilling and talking to myself when I read a twitter trending topic about Michael Jackson and one thing led to another and suddenly I was having a conversation with myself about his son "Pillow". It went on for a while.

And then I interrupted myself to say, "Actually, the kid's name is Blanket."

I'm such a bitch when I interrupt people.


Including myself.