rekindling old romances.

i've been trying to live with the principle "always carry your camera with you". it's become a challenge. mostly, i think, it is because my camera hates me or at least my nikon hates me.

it maybe be that we're just trying to readjust and get back into the swing of things but i feel it is rebelling. i make threats like, "maybe i'll buy a canon next, huh?" and threaten to smash it against the wall. please, nobody report me for camera abuse? i'm just trying to help it understand me and it is like talking to a blank wall. frustration kicks in and i snap back at it.

cold hearted little snippets of insensitivity and abuse. i sneer and hiss and it just sits there.

i'm not sure how possible it is that all it is doing is waiting for me to love i it again. my love comes easily enough i like to think.

.....

i've been ill - the horrible sort of cold that crawls into your lungs and your sinuses and sits there. The kind that draws the life right out of you. sometimes i wonder if my body is breathing properly. does it remember how to?

.....

needless to say, i haven't been carrying my camera around with me which is awful. i know. i see the photographs i don't take - every single one flashes by me in strings of hundreds of images. and i let them.

we'll grow used to each other again. eventually.