Last night I wrote an angry blog that was totally uncalled for. It was uncalled for in the sense that I directed my anger at the completely wrong person when in actual fact I really, and this is the honest truth, am not mad at that person at all. I’m mad at the situation. I’m mad at the way people view me but still not complaining – it was fun while it lasted.
This is the problem though – when the fun and games are over I am the one sitting nursing my ego and all of my friends and a bunch of new people who know me by name saw me hooking up with a near stranger in a club. In that second I went for it I was declared loose. A loose, vagabond of a woman – and this mostly in the eyes of the women there – this is what people see when they see a girl kissing a boy in a club and I always find myself on the short end of the stick.
One of my friends has described, presumably this behavior, me being full of crap. Why? Can’t I kiss who I please and move on with my life? Why must it always be assumed that I want something solid when I text a guy inviting him out? Can’t it rather be assumed that it would be really great if we had a rerun of last Saturday night? No. And you know why?
Because I am a girl.
To quote Molly Crabapple, “Girls are taught to stay at home and protect their vaginae.” Sad truth. So when I am out there showing the world my map of Tasmania can I rather not be judged? Can I just be seen as a pioneer of a woman who does what she likes and doesn’t let her surpassed reputation stand in her way?
Because that is what it really is – women used to be held back by men and now they are held back by their reputations which is somehow linked to how many guys they’ve bedded. Screw that I’m a talented, smart person; I kissed a stranger at a club and now I am bad person. Thanks for nothing, world, I’ll obviously just a girl in the wrong.
Please, take a box and shove me inside it now.
Oh, and I apologize for the post and this one which just kinda morphed into a rant. I apologize and I don’t hate you.
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