i try not to have regrets. really, I try very hard to live with the copious amount of mistakes i make and pretend that they were all part of the original and mighty plan. however, sometimes i wonder if my spur of the moment thinking doesn't lead to greater chaos in my mind.
today i went for my 'trial run' at the place i went for an interview at and then, after four hours i quit the scene claiming that it wasn't for me which is not strictly true. I suspect that although I am quite awkward around children I was actually enjoying being around them. They said they thought I was nice, complimented me and generally made me feel good about myself. I felt free to be friendly to them and instead of being met by the wall of rejection my crazy is generally met with they were lovely and open and accepting.
Their, and my, supervisor was not as friendly, however.
I know how to work with difficult people,I have a thick skin and I can take other people's crazy ; what I can't take is people being nasty about or to people who have been nothing but lovely, nice and kind to me. People like this send my blood pressure through the roof. This supervisor was one of them.
Children are not quite the spawn of Satan that she points them out to be and even the boy who I had to tear down from the rafters gave me a high five later that day. These children just want you to be nice to them. If you yelled at me all day I'd also give you hell rather than be nice to you. Children have backbones - they are not rude(I admit, some of them are)or backstabbing or horrible brats.
These kids were nicer to me than some of the adults I know and they'd only met me once. But, hell, that woman drove me bananas in just four hours. Get a grip, woman. You're in charge of a bunch of minors - start acting like an adult.
Needless to say, I quit. Well, told them I wouldn't be working for them any more. Not because I can't handle the pace or the kids but because I might stab that woman with a pencil if I have to work for her.
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